The biggest conflict of Vietnamese parents is that they want their children to become independent individuals, which is proved by the fact that they spend lots of money sending their children to life skills courses, in contrast, they tend to take care of their children too much even when the children have grown up. Although the tendency of extended family is less popular in Vietnam than in the past, a new trend that parents and children live nearby in order to take care of one another illustrates part of that tradition.
The fact that most of Vietnamese parents choose to live with or live nearby their children when the children already got married in order to take care of them is no longer suitable in a modern society. When the living standards are improved, people prefer living with those who are their age and are in line with their interests, thus living in an extended family would make family members restrained. A happy family is a family in which all members are satisfied. If the parents are restrained or the children are restrained, where is happiness?
Witnessing so many parents who still pay attention on their children too much after their children have their own family, I have made a short video which reflects that matter with the title: “A mother’s love”. The video tells a story of a retired mother who spends most of the time taking care her son’s family until she realizes what she has been doing has a negative effect on her son’s family.
This story would be a reminder for parents in general and for mothers in particular about their love for their children. The reminder is: “separation from children once they are mature is a necessary expression of parental love to children.” Parents, please do not consider children to be the only concern in life. Do not shut the door of communication to the world and ignore your own interest and passion for the sake of your children. As long as your children can live independently and keep up with their duty to you, you are successful parents anyway.
Parents are the ones who give children endless love when they are young, and then let children go off once they have grown up. I want to send a message to Vietnamese mothers, especially those who are a type of mother in my story that: “Do not give your children blind love, but learn how to be wise parents so that your children can experience and grow from that experience. Which children, care and separation are tasks that every parent must fulfill.”
Please click here to watch the video: A mother’s love